27 February 1989 / 2 October 2001

His sigh fills my lungs
he does not know
I awoke this morning
my legs across his
my face on his chest
breathing his scent
I cannot tell him

This feeling I want so badly
is elusive, possibly too much so
He thinks of me as something
to find in his bed

He strokes my arm across his chest
with the fingers that explored caverns
I have to tell him
he will disbelieve

His face feels soft, babyish
under my roughened exterior
pricks his skin
He nuzzles my fingertips
What he does not know will not hurt him

I cannot fool myself
I disentangle myself to move to the bathroom
morning sickness